cuddly

I knew

When Dave and I were newly married I knew that I wanted to have kids because Dave would make the best daddy.  I wanted to see him be a daddy.  It really was the biggest reason for me.  And I was right, he is the best Daddy.  He is adored by his girls.  I am so grateful to witness his awesome Daddy-ness every day.

When Miley was 2, I knew she needed a sister, because she would be the best big sister ever.  I couldn't wait to see her become a sister.  I was right again.  She is a natural at it.  Best big sister ever.  I don't say that lightly, cause I am a big sister myself.  Sorry little sisters, Miley puts me to shame.  ;)

 She even likes matching their clothes.  Once again, sorry sisters (well mostly Tiff).  Miley dressed Jo to match her in pink on this day.

*Side note, Jo is making taking pics with my convenient phone camera difficult these days.  She can't sit still.  Sorry for the blur.  It happens, a lot.

crickets therefore feminism

It's been awful quiet around here, and yet in my head it's been pretty noisy.  I've been reading too much.  Articles on every subject from different perspectives.  I've been sucked into social conscientiousness and I can't get out. . . not until I fix the world.  ;)  OK, I don't have the answers, but after reading something about speaking up I feel I need to say something, anything.

So today I'd like to talk about why I am no longer a FEMINIST.  I don't know if I actually ever was a feminist, but I do know now that I can't claim membership in the club.

Is that surprising?  Don't get me wrong, I have felt the distinct bitterness of sexism and I would love my daughter's to never know that taste.  I remember the first time it hit me in the face, it was in high school.  I was a sports writer for the newspaper and had to cover boys sports.  After my first experience interviewing the coaches, I dreaded it ever after.  They were condescending jerks.  I thought it was just because I was a student and not a real reporter and they were, well, jerks.  I asked the other journalism students and their experiences were different.  They were also boys.  I thought maybe I wasn't asking good enough questions.  I tried harder.

I became a sports writer in college as well. More interviews with males coaches about male sports.  I didn't expect the same treatment, I was more confident in my abilities, but I was surprised with a very real deja vu.  Then I saw how they interacted with other reporters on the staff, the male kind. . . very different.  Bubble burst.  They treated me like I was a stupid because I was a girl.  I guess it could have been my blonde hair.  Maybe I could have won their respect in the end, but after a year I left journalism.  My editor asked me to stay, but it just wasn't worth it.  Did I let feminism down then?  Maybe.

I am grateful for the women who came before me who fought for the right to vote and own property and be recognized.  I do believe feminism had a purpose.  I think it's been twisted into a bitter angry thing.

I admit, I love the song in Mary Poppins about votes for women.  My favorite line, 'though we love men individually, as a whole we feel they are rather stupid.'  Come on, that was funny, but not something I want my daughters thinking.  Maybe I watched that movie too much, cause the thought comes to my mind too frequently.

These days you see in every TV show a bumbling fool of a man, a turn around from the previous standard of ditzy woman doing the man's bidding.  I don't agree with either.  It changes how we think about the opposite sex.  Strip that away and does that make for some pretty boring programming, well maybe.

I watched a video today that someone made of the Disney princesses singing a song about how they don't need a man and how since they got a happily every after with a prince they didn't get what they really wanted to do in life.  Seriously?  This theme seems to be repeated a lot.  Blame someone else, in this case men.  I think feminism has gone too far.

Why do we need to step on someone else to feel empowered?  Couldn't they have sung a song about doing whatever they want because they are capable of doing it?  Why must we always push someone else down to feel greater?

Let's face it, we do need each other.  Why is needing someone a bad thing?  I'm not great, myself, at asking for help.  Maybe I am a feminist.  ;)  Of course, when I find myself thinking that it usually gets me in trouble and so obviously it is flawed.  We'd also be completely blind to the whole survival of the species by saying we don't need men.  Stupid princesses.  ;)

I was reading about school violence and how the number of incidences have not decreased since Columbine.  The efforts to stop them have not been successful in that way, though the number of casualties have dropped.  The ones inflicting the violence are males feeling very ostracized from society.  I hadn't thought about the common gender of the attackers.

I think making boys feel useless and unnecessary is a nasty consequence of feminism.  I don't think the violent boys watched that princess music video, but I don't doubt that boys and men get the message loud and clear from everything else the media pushes.  Women can do everything men can do.  We don't need fathers.  We don't need marriage.  We don't need men.  They are stupid.  That has to impact them.  It's unrealistic to think it wouldn't.  This is why the feminist movement came to be, to right the wrongs against women who were treated as second class citizens.  No one should be told they are stupid or have less worth.  This is the generation of men we are now raising.  It's a bleak outlook for our society.

We are belittling instead of building and it still happens on both sides.  I believe the root of all our problems is the disintegration of the family, of respect for each gender.  We are now so full of ourselves that we need no one else.  What a pointless notion.  Our aggrandizement is out of control.  Feminism is no longer building up women, but propping up women on the heads of men.  We're competing with each other for some reason I can't figure out.  What do we get if we win?  How do we win?  If it's proven women are better. . . what happens?  I don't want a trophy for that.  It wasn't earned.

We are different, as genders, as individuals.  In our strengths and weaknesses.  Why can't we be ok with that and not compare EVERYTHING?  Where is the middle ground where we promote people because of the good they can do and not in terms of BETTER than. . .?

Miley complained to me once that something 'wasn't fair.'  We had a little talk about how ridiculous that concept is and made her promise never to say it again.  ;)  Right, we'll see, fingers crossed.  I do believe that society has become obsessed with fairness.  I understand it to a point, but don't believe that we will ever be able to discern fairness for ourselves.  It isn't possible to compare the complexities on a chart and say, yep, it is now completely fair.  My life doesn't look like anyone I know, so . . . fair?  Unless you're talking snow cones and motion sickness, please don't use the word around me.  It's aggravating.  Actually, maybe not at all, Miley is slightly obsessed with going to the fair.

So what's the answer. . . everyone hold hands and sing Kumbaya?  That'd be nice.  ;)  For me it's to pay attention to the media's influence in my own home.  To check what I say and how I treat my husband and make sure my girls see that I respect and love him always.  I want to make sure my actions flow out from there, to everyone else I encounter.  It's not easy, I have a sharp tongue.  Change starts in the home though.  I really wish the government understood that.

In conclusion, I may not be a feminist but I am grateful they existed.  I'm feeling less than happy with Republicans as well, but I refuse to get into those politics here.  ;)  Disenfranchised, and now craving an elephant ear.  Hmmmm.

love day

Thankful for this day to feel extra lucky and so very grateful for my little family.

I worried once that it would feel like splitting my love between the two, but that is a ridiculous notion.  My heart grew with each new addition to my family. 

It feels about to burst at times.

like the times. . .

When Jo holds my hand

Miley writes me a note

The dogs excitedly jump to see me

Dave looks at me with his big brown eyes

Feeling loved and that is my wish for you.

Sending our love to you, our friends and family, on this day and always.  

Happy Valentine's Day!

re-posting

This block bucket is perfect for little heads. . . oh how I love my little bucket head.

Am I that lazy and re-posting about Miley from yesteryear?  Who is under the bucket?

Miley's little shadow, Baby J.  ;)  Why do my girls not play with the actual blocks that go in this bucket?

 Miley wouldn't wear the bucket on her head again for old-times sake. . . instead she wanted to try out a few poses for the camera.

 

Family photographer

 Today's blog post is brought to you by Miley.

This little girl has decided to offer her mad family picture skills to the public.

I know, you're thrilled, but just wait until you see some of her portfolio.

*All photos are SOTC (straight out of the camera).  You get what you get with this all natural shooter.

You want client recommendations, you got 'em. . . ;)

Miley is a perfectionist and will take a shot a dozen time before she is pleased with your head tilt position.  -Mindy

 She gave us great posing suggestions.  - Grammy

Miley made sure I was giving the perfect smile.  She even demonstrated what it should look like.  I appreciate that attention to detail.  - David

I think they are delightful. - Miley

girlie things

Found out this winter that Miley did not know how to put on socks.  Yep.  I don't know if that is normal for a 5 year old or not.  Turns out we don't wear them down here so she didn't have the experience to know which way was up or right side out.  It's been colder than normal for us (not complaining cause I saw the temps others were tortured with recently) and so we've actually worn shoes with socks.  Freaky.  Now she can put it on her resume, she can properly fit sock to foot.  Oh yeah and we had to go and buy some that actually fit her and her sister.  That's good parenting.  ;)

Jovey is a baller.  She really wants to play basketball.  At the children's museum she was very excited to play on the little court and then when we went to the park she kept wanting to get into some other kids basketball game.  Swings, slide, toys, nope just wanted to play basketball.  Crazy.  Now we need to buy a little hoop for our budding hoopster.

So my girls have been sick and Miley's missed a fair amount of school with this nasty virus.  When I was talking about it, she said to me, 'Mom, I'll never get into college.'  Followed by, 'Wait, what comes after Kindergarten?'

Miley was making her face out of some art materials in my office (because she didn't want me to miss her too much while she was at school), and was coloring her hair brown and then on the other side black.  I asked why, naturally.  She said that her hair turns black when she takes a bath.  She then said it happened because it was magic.  Of course, silly me.

Miley has listened to the Frozen soundtrack so many times that Jo can now sing along.  Yeah, I know she can't talk, but at one point in a song it does a tick tock sound and Jo does it on cue every time.  She's got talent.  I also think Jo will be a big fan of the movie once it comes out because of the brainwashing Miley is applying with all the music.

Jo's sign language is getting really good, but now I'm worried that she won't talk. . . like actual words, cause she is like her sister and talks/yells all the time. . . also a little like her sis, it doesn't make much sense.  ;)  Jovey's sign for Daddy is waving or blowing kisses at the garage door. . . which makes Dave totally want to go part time.

Miley is very worried about her birthday.  What will be the theme?  Butterflies, bubblegum, fairies? Who will she invite?  What will they do?  What should she ask me for?  Oh, the stress.  Her birthday is in August.  It's going to be a long year.

I've added mirrors to my house since Miley was a baby.  I forgot how much babies enjoy mirrors, well licking them.  Jovey is a big fan of watching herself make faces up close and personal.  Lots of little mouth marks everywhere.  She thinks she is the cutest thing ever, I may tend to agree unless I'm cleaning reflective surfaces and then I think she's the stickiest slobberfest ever.  ;)

Jovey is a climber.  This is new.  I had to show Miley how to climb on top of her playhouse last year.  I thought she needed to be a little less cautious.  Jo on the other hand, climbs onto the trunk and little picnic table with ease. . . and tries other things as well.  She's going to keep me on my toes.

Miley is working on riding a bike. . . still.  It's a struggle.  Dave was sure we could do it in a weekend.  I knew my kid's balance would be a stumbling block.  So here we are still working, or trying to get her to work on it.  She likes to be good at things, but she likes to be good at things right away.  It bothers her that this didn't come easy.  She's also trying to jumprope.  It's a big year for her.

Hello February

Miley's favorite holiday is Valentine's Day.  I've never had such a fondness for it, but now seeing it through my daughter's eyes I can appreciate it.  It proves something to me.  Little things matter.

I don't like to give out candy, for pretty much anything.  Halloween, nope, Valentine's, not so much, Christmas, I think Miley got some M&M's, so that's something.  Are you worried that my poor girls are being deprived?  ;)

Last year we gave Miley love notes from the first of February until Valentine's day.  I cut out bits of scrapbook paper and Dave and I wrote things we loved about our girl on them.  She found two each day in her Valentine's mailbox and then would tape them to her bathroom mirror so she could admire them all month.  It wasn't fancy and there weren't any sweets attached to them, but she LOVED them.  She remembers it and asks if she'll get love notes again this year.  Yes, yes she will.

I am so happy that these little messages of love give her so much joy.  It even beats out Christmas and her birthday.  Valentine's may be tied with Halloween though.  ;)

This year I decided to go a step above cut out scrapbook paper and use some of the cute printables I've acquired from the internet over the years.  Some of which I couldn't find online anymore, but I'll share some of my favorites that I could find. . .

In this link:  Pirates?  Why yes, why didn't I think of that?. . .

I like the airplanes in this next link especially. . . 

There are so many cute ones, hopefully this gives you enough to inspire your love-filled month.

If you'd like to give me a message for Miley or Jovey, I'll happily add it to a valentine, or feel free to send them something.  We love mail!  ;)

Have a LOVEly February!