handle with care and buyer's guide 2013

So for the past two months I must have not been at my best, most pleasant self. . . and that must have come across in the blog/facebook/insta/life cause everyone has seemed very hesitant around me.  Ticking time bomb kind of hesitant.  Not that I minded, you know, to be feared.  ;)

No one has asked me to do things for them, which in my world is very unusual.  I got less responsibilities at church as well.  Everyone seems to think I may be at my breaking point.  Am I?  Well, maybe I was.  I must admit that I was not in the best frame of mind.  The waiting was eating at me every. single. day.  I knew it would be hard.  I didn't expect cupcakes and lollipops.  I just didn't know how bad it would feel.  Crap on toast.  That's what it feels like, if you wanted to know.  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't talk anyone out of taking this adventure, but know that you will feel like CRAP on toast for a few months at the end. . . and people will ask you everyday when your baby will be home and you will cry.  That's just how it is.  Sugar helps, and keeping yourself very busy doing things. . . even when everyone else thinks you need to do less.

So that's what I did, kept busy.  My house has never been cleaner.  ;)  Well not today, today I've been packing and frantically trying to get ready so it's a bit trashed.  With the good news we received on Monday (we're going to get our baby girl this week, just in case you hadn't heard yet) my heart feels lighter, but now I'm feeling all new worries. . . like airplanes and raising a baby again, and babies on airplanes.  Oy ve.  We'll get through it somehow.

To keep my sanity, I did yard work in the middle of the day. Sweating out the frustration instead of crying it out.  ;)  Picked up my tennis racket again.  I put together two bikes and did a lot of shopping.  We swam everyday and that really helps wear you out.  I made stuff that I will never use or put up in my house. . . and I planned little miss FIVE's birthday in August.  She's so excited, but that doesn't actually take much, any birthday is awesome to her.  Which brings me to my reason for posting today. . . to give you some ideas of things for Miley if you're in the gifting mood.  It is her GOLDEN birthday this year, 5 on the 5th!  We'll be going with a gold princess theme this year.

Things Miley loves right now. . .

Dress up clothes
JEWELRY!
Click Clack heels, that's what we call those plastic play heels (she loves heels)
Doctor stuff, real or fake she'll take it all
Doc McStuffins toys (it's a Disney TV show)
Disney Princess barbies (she has Rapunzel, Belle, Ariel)
Coloring/Sticker books
Baby paraphernalia, like bottles, diapers, etc. for her dolls
School work books (yeah she's crazy, but she wants to do homework and I'm running out of work for her to do)

She is wearing a size 6 in clothes and a size 10/11 shoe.  She loves dresses that she can wear for everyday play and rain boots, or any boots for that matter.  Her favorite color is pink and the rainbow.  She really wants a horse to live in our backyard too.  ;)  Please don't get her that.

This list seems pretty much the same every year, but hopefully it helps a little to be reminded.  ;)

wordy some more

a little inspiration today from my pinterest quote board. . .

word

It's my birthday, but my present isn't home yet.  I had hoped that it would work out that way.  ;)  But you know what, I'm OK, happy even, cause I'll see her when it's time. . . and that will be perfect.

my girl

IMG 4991 from Mindy on Vimeo.

IMG 4714 from Mindy on Vimeo.

you are here

Everything is an estimate in international adoption, but this week I got an email that was like putting a tack on the map. . . we are here. . .

Where is here?  Well let me tell you.  Everything has been submitted to the US Embassy and now it is up to them to do the orphan status investigation.  New estimate, 2 -3 weeks, optimistically.  Praying that the police officer is available and cooperative for interview.

Story about this stressful step. . . So this whole time since we've been back from Africa it's been like a roller coaster.  I never know how I'm going to feel from day to day.  Crazy.  This past week was a little intense as we were waiting on one single form to have everything submitted, or else we'd have to wait another whole week, cause they only submit to Embassy on Wednesdays.  So Wednesday, came and I didn't get an email, panic of course set in.  Talked to the agency and they said that the Embassy had asked for a document they never usually request, the I-171H (not just for our family, there were 5 of us).  The very approval (or re-approval) letter that the post office lost for us, that we just barely received this week after asking for a duplicate to be sent.  I was thinking about dropping it by the office some time just for their records, but I didn't feel rushed cause the Embassy already had it and they don't need it from us (the agency thinks their system was down and that's why they requested the info they already had).  I was scanning something of Miley's the other day though and decided I would just scan it in too and send it in an email to the agency.  And then this happens, they had the form because of it and were able to submit on Thursday instead.  So very glad I did that (inspired) so we could be submitted on time and not wait the extra week.  Each week is harder than the last so it may have saved a little of my sanity.  ;)

Anyway, you don't want to hear about my sanity or lack thereof. . .

Our baby girl has a passport, which I got a copy of and it is the cutest thing even with her Daddy's name attached to her own.  That's right, on her legal documents it lists David as her middle name.  Don't worry, it won't stay that way.  ;)

We got her Ethiopian birth certificate, with us listed as her adoptive parents.  The birth certificate is a tricky issue with adoption.  I don't know how other adoptive parents feel about it, but I do know that they want to have the certificate with their names on it.  For us personally, it feels wrong to put our name on their birth certificate, because we didn't birth them.  I actually like that it says adoptive parent on Jovey's BIRTH certificate.  It doesn't make me feel less like her parent at all.  I wish it was that way on Miley's as well.  I don't know why, but it just feels wrong to me.  Like I'm claiming something that I shouldn't.  We will also get a US birth certificate for Jovey, which I find strange and unnecessary, but it helps with dealing with our government. . . you know like education stuff.  It will keep people from questioning whether she is an American citizen, but it's also kind of a lie cause she wasn't born here.  I don't know.  It's complicated and I have complicated feelings associated with it.  Oh and we had her birthdate wrong before.  On her birth certificate it is November 25.  Her Ethiopian birthday is 3/16/2005.  I'm thinking we'll be celebrating both.  You know how I love birthdays!!

We got the adoption decree with the judge's ruling that we are her parents and she stamped us as AWESOME!  OK, maybe it didn't say awesome, but I could tell with the pressure that her official stamp was placed that she was feeling something to that effect.  ;)

All of her paperwork had to be translated from Amharic to English and everything had to be there before the Embassy would start their part.  Thus the wait.  But they did it all, our agency got everything ready and I couldn't be happier with their help and support so . . .

. . . we're feeling good.  Hopeful.  Optimistic.  Or I'm trying to feel those things and am mostly successful.

three Miley anecdotes

paperwork . . . Miley is well versed in adoption procedures.  She's seen me do mountains of paperwork and reply to hundreds of emails and read dozens of books.  She probably understands what all the acronyms stand for as well, I should test her.  MOWCYA, USCIS, TH, NVC. . . Anyway, I got an email the other day about a 'possible' delay with some paperwork.  I was at my computer and immediately put my head in my hands to find my zen place and not worry.  I didn't say anything.  Miley came over to me and said, 'Mom, is it paperwork?'  'For Jovey?'  Yep.  She grabbed my chin and said, 'Mom look at me.  You are going to go to Africa and pick up Jovey soon.'  Which destroyed all zen I had mustered, and the tears came.  I mean how could I hold it in with my sweet girl being so perceptive and adorable?!  She then told me, 'It will be ok, Mom. Why don't you just go take a shower and we can talk about it after.'  (BTW there was no delay in the paperwork after all.  Miley was right, but don't tell her I said so, cause the rule in our house is that I'm always right.)

coca cola. . . Miley heard me mention Coke and decided she wanted some.  I don't drink a lot of Coke, except when in Africa, I do have it though cause it works really well on any nausea.  I told Miley she wouldn't like it and that the caffeine would make her go berserk.  She persisted though, so Dave told her that it would stunt her growth and she would be short forever.  Which would be a good argument against it for my girl who wants to be a giant when she grows up.  However, after a beat she said, 'Well Mommy wants me to stay little forever so. . .'  Touche.  She still didn't get any Coke, but definite points for outsmarting her Daddy.

notes. . . Miley writes all sorts of notes.  She draws all sorts of pictures as well and dictates who they should go to, like the bug man, bishop, dance teachers, africa, family members. . . and if you're wondering where your pictures are, well they may be on her desk or in the trash.  Sorry.  She is a prolific note maker and I can't keep up with her piles.  I should make some sort of filing system so that I could send them to you once your file is full.  You may have seen her note on her door. . . the lovely keep out sign.  Not all of her notes are so happy like that one.  ;)  Today she was writing birthday notes to her sister and asked me how to spell a giggle.  ??  Not giggle, an actual giggle, her giggle.  No suggestion for that one.  She drew a picture of a baby and said it looked big and funny and that if she drew baby Jovey like that it would make her cry, so it's just some other baby.

Oh I love her.

I'll have videos of her to post shortly.  They're uploading right now.

i hate the post office

I've discovered a black hole between the post office and our mailbox.  I think that means I get to name it, like a star, right?  I've lost two packages and one very important document in the last month.  They made it to our local office, but not the couple of miles to our door.  So frustrated!  We complained.  Squeaky wheel you know.

So I mentioned that we had to get re-fingerprinted for immigration stuff awhile ago, anyway, we've been waiting to get our approval letter. . . for over 6 weeks.  ?!@#$$  Started to worry, cause they expired in May and we were being submitted to Embassy and. . . . My caseworker told me not to panic, but then gave me the list of numbers I needed to call to see whether our approval had been sent to NVC and the Embassy in Addis.  I skipped to the end and called the embassy first.  They were there.  Phew.  Now we called USCIS to see if we could get a copy as well.  Our officer told me she sent them in April, like the week after we did it.  Stupid stinkin post office, what are they Irish?, (anybody know that reference?).  That was a government document with our personal information on it and they lost it?!  They delivered it to someone else and those idiots didn't put it back in their mailbox to get to us?!?  Seriously.  Dave thinks that it probably just got thrown away by whoever received it.  I get other people's mail all the time (see our post office is doing lots of great work around here), and now I'm just going to start chucking it too.  OK, I'm not, cause I think that is rude but I really want to, for revenge.  Really lame revenge.  So yeah, not a fan of the post office and the near panic attack they gave me.

Talked to our postal worker at the house the other day to see if she'd found any of our packages yet.  Nope.  Miley was with me, she told her that she was very disappointed to not have received her graduation package from her Aunt Tiff.  We didn't raise a shy girl, that's for sure.  Another squeaky wheel, you know, when necessary.  ;)

I found out recently that some, maybe more than I realize, teenagers don't know how to use a mailbox.  Yep.  Had a conversation with one that didn't know you could put mail in the box for the postman to pick up.  She thought the little flag was there for patriotic purposes.  Seriously.  Blew my mind, and made me wonder what old-timey stuff Miley doesn't understand.  Apparently mailboxes are archaic now.  Miley knows how to use them so the knowledge will live on in our family.

Though maybe we should let the postal system die out.  I don't know who to blame for their awesome work on our behalf, so I don't yet have a name to put to my black hole.

It really felt good to vent that, but I think I should have added a few more stupids and stinkins to really show the depth of my disappointment.  ;)

*Update. . . still no USCIS documents, but they did recover the packages (after two weeks of looking). . . probably found them on a vacation home doorstep.  Who knows.  Please don't let this dissuade you from sending us mail.  We love getting it, when it actually makes it here.  ;)  But maybe get a tracking number and then check with us to see if we got it, if you want to be sure.  ;)

Cindy lou who vs. Chunky Monkey

Cindy lou who, that's what Miley named this elephant, but I prefer to call him gray pillow.  I was looking for a large stuffed animal for Jovey to take pictures with. . . like what Chunky Monkey is to Miley.  I found this elephant.

It was cuter on the website.  No really, it was.  Ours is kinda flat and looks a little depressed, not really a great companion for picture taking.  Miley loved it and immediately took the tags off.  *&(^$^$#%#.  Oh well.  But now I'm back to where I started, 'chunky-less' and with less cash too, so maybe not exactly where I started.

Look how cute Chunky is with his lovable smirk and posable limbs.  Gray pillow has nothing, but maybe a decent Eyeore impression.

Miley offered to give Jovey Chunky Monkey, in exchange for the new friend.  She may not be so good at the sharing idea with her sister.  She has decided to play with the baby toys I just got back out too.

That is another issue that we'll have fun with soon enough, but for now what am I to do with the picture pal?  Try to find a new one, or co-opt Chunky into another set of growing up pics?  How awful is gray pillow?  Yeah, I tried to find another Chunky, so they could each have one, but he is no longer available.  Sad times.  And nobody is offering up a cuter counterpart.  I don't want to keep looking.  That may be my answer.

so no one has said happy birthday to me yet

. . . and it's like June 6th already.  I know, I didn't remind you at the first of the month or at the end of last month that June was approaching and as such the glorious month long holiday.. . my birthday!

Actually celebrating my birthday hasn't really been on my mind.  I'm slightly obsessed with paperwork and paperwork and checking my email to see if there is any news about a certain baby and lengthy legal process which I'm afraid I talk too much about here. . . on the blog.  Sorry if my adoption stuff is starting to chafe a little.  I understand.  Dave recommends talcum powder, baby powder, and/or some fresh air.  ;)  For me, however, nothing helps to get it off my mind or curb my impatience.  This wait is the WORST one ever and I am just barely surviving without losing all my hair.  It is extremely hot here so maybe losing all my hair wouldn't be all that bad.

Here's what I know right now, cause let's face it I won't be able to talk about anything else, even my birthday. . . Jovey is getting her medical exam today, or has had it already since they are 10 hours ahead of us, which means I should be checking my email right now.   Anyway, that is the last piece to be submitted (but not until Wednesday) and then we wait for the orphan status investigation.  With abandonment cases this can take a little more time, but not necessarily.  This is where it gets tricky to predict.  We don't know.  It depends on the amount of information provided at the forefront and how many interviews need to be done.  The US Embassy needs to be 100% sure that she is a true orphan.  We want it all on the up and up as well, just hoping that the truth is evident and all the work done by our agency/orphanage/police is put to good use.

Praying/wishing/hoping for a very reasonable two weeks. . . but we don't know and we can't predict.  So once again we're waiting.  Waiting, it could be our permanent status update on Facebook.  If I cared to update Facebook.

Here is a little video of our girl, that I've watched a hundred times.  Wishing I took more, or brought my tripod and just had it record her 24/7 while I enjoyed the moment. . .


IMG 4803 from Mindy on Vimeo.

Miley-isms

So romantic. . . that is what Miley says when she has enjoyed a meal with you.  I have no idea where she learned it.  I asked her what it meant and she said, 'it means that we had so much fun eating together.'

Apology accepted. . . Miley kept saying this to me the other day and I kept telling her that I wasn't apologizing for anything.  Punk.  ;)  I think she had it confused with 'mission completed' because she kept saying it when she was done with a task or I asked her to do something.  She didn't mind saying something absurd, cause after I told her what it meant she still used it all day long incorrectly with a smile.

Gibberish. . . Miley thinks she can speak Spanish, in fact it's one of the things she's convinced she'll teach her baby sister one day.  Dave has taught her some, but she thinks she can ad lib the rest and it will work.  She says something nonsensical and when I say what, she'll turn to me and explain that it means 'I love you mom, will you get me some juice?' in Spanish.  I should have known.

You're a mom and. . . I told Miley she needed her hair trimmed after her bath.  She asked if she could 'have a moment to say goodbye to her long hair'.  Oh my word.  While I was cutting the tiny 1.5" off she said to me, 'You're a mom, a fixer, a doctor, and a hair stylist?'  That's right, just adding to my resume.

What is a Miley post without some artwork. . . this is titled Sun Shines a Rainbow on You!  And I hope it does too.

21 pics

 . . . of Zion National Park, and our little hike last weekend.

We did the trail that followed the Virgin river.  All the girls appreciated being near the water since it was a tad warmer than we thought it would be that day.  88 degrees.  Ugh.

 Saw a deer.  This close.

 Miley took down at least two of these bottles by herself.  She gets hot easily, always has had that issue.

Taken right before she fell into the water, which she wasn't too concerned about cause it felt really good.

 Bear preferred the shaded sand.

Lazy got a ride for maybe half of the hike.

 And was only happy when we were in the water.

 Miley swore she would never hike again after this outing.  I blame the heat and possibly her first experience with hiking which didn't go very well.  I wasn't there for it, but I heard the stories.  We've scared her away from being a hiking enthusiast for sure.  Dave bought the year pass to Zion so she will not be happy when the weather cools down and we head back in this fall.  ;)