February update

Hello February, the end of February anyway.

I am now sling free, but my arm if far from useful yet.  The nerves in my arm are fried, so don't touch it it feels like fire.  Doc says that will dissipate.  Physical therapy is super not fun.  Well, it's fun after all the pain has gone away and I can move my arm that extra inch.  I can get 90º vertical right now.  My rotation to the right is 40º.  It's slow going, which is what my Ortho wants so I guess we're doing well.  In four more months they say I'll be back to 80%.  This is supposed to teach me patience.  That's what they tell me.

So we complained to the hospital about their 'treatment'.  They reviewed my scans again and everything about that day.  It turns out they missed my dislocation.  Huh.  Surprise surprise.  They kept telling me (after the review), 'yeah it was there, but it was rare so they can't be blamed for not seeing it. . .'  They can't admit they screwed up.  It's aggravating. 

I nicely, of course it was nicely, explained to the hospital how the PA who diagnosed me ignored all my symptoms because the radiologist said it was fine.  The radiologist got an x-ray from one side because I couldn't move it and so did not have the whole picture.  They didn't use their brains to get more info and therefore expected the other individual to do the work.  Neither of them did.  I told them their system was broken and I so hope that they listened.

They are using my case as a teaching opportunity.  The radiologists are now going through training for it.  My Ortho, who didn't see me until it had been 'reduced' (put back in) is even using my scans as a teaching case in his own office.  I am practically a professor now.  ;)  Honorary degrees should be piling up. 

Because I am a 'nice person' as they said, and they are really hoping I am not a litigious person they are taking over my hospital bills.  I haven't seen one of those yet, others, but not ER.  I am not a litigious person, they are right.  I just wanted them to admit they missed it and fix some things, so I got part of my wish.  It's something. 

So that's it.  Now I continue to work through 'healing' at a much slower pace because of their oversight.

Sorry, but I only have medical things to speak of. . . well we'll see if I can scrape together something else too.

I've had to turn away work since I am right handed and without a right hand at the moment, but this month I took a job.  It was not easy, but I designed a poster and invitation.  Done.  I'm not ready to take on much more though.  It will be slow for awhile.  Back to semi-retirement.  Meanwhile I am reading a LOT of books.  Life is good like that.

I am still the party planner for Miley's class, so we had our Valentine's party all sling-ed up.  Miley explained everything to her class before I got there so they would be very careful with me and not ask me the usual questions.  That's what her teacher told me.  Oh my, child.  She has a really good class and they were very concerned and asked how the shoulder was feeling.  Sometimes kids are cute.  It went well and I am happy to be done with parties for awhile. 

Here are two group activities that I use for these events, just in case you needed some ideas. . . marshmallow and toothpick architecture.  I got heart marshmallows to make it Valentine-y.  Have them build however their hearts desire.  See hearts again, so valentine-y.  ;)

Second game.  Don't make me laugh.  I've used this one a couple of ways.  On cardboard hearts I wrote out a bunch of actions to do (robot dance, lick your nose, scariest face, etc) and then laid them around the room to walk around and then use music is signal stopping.  They then turn over the heart they are standing on and do what it says.  All of them at the same time.  It's fun and you don't need to reward them.  Option 2.  Pass hearts around while sitting in a circle, use music to signal stopping.  Have someone in the center choose three people to perform their actions and if they laugh while they do it then they are out and then they choose the next people to perform after another round of music. 

There you go, take over my job now.  Please.  I think I know everyone in Miley's grade because I've done her class parties so many times.  It's better this than PTA president, so I'm not complaining anymore.  Onward to more parties!

I am back to doing Jovey's and Miley's hair again, and that counts as physical therapy.  Miley got so used to ponytails though that I can't talk her into anything else yet.  I chopped 6 inches off of my hair, and Miley is ready for the big chop.  But she wants to chop it off so she can curl her hair.  I'm not ready to curl it for her so she's going to have to wait.  Dave still helps me put my hair up every day.  He's a peach.

Dave's shingles is all healed up.  I may have forgotten to mention that earlier.  It was long lived, but not as bad as it could have been.  I think he hid it after I got hurt because I didn't have enough energy to cope with both problems.  I made him a lasagna to pay him back for that kindness.  Food is his love language.

Speaking of illness, we haven't survived the winter unscathed, but we've been pretty good considering the craziness going around.  We spent a weekend in bed watching the drill team state championships.

And now we are watching a lot of Olympics.  It takes up our evenings.  Jovey thinks everyone competing for the US is from Utah. . . though there are quite a few so sometimes she is right when she yells, go Utah!  ;) 

So my video site has restructured and wants to charge me a lot to host my videos.  I haven't decided whether it is worth it.  So we shall see if more videos will appear here.  Maybe there is another option. 

Anyway, there is the update for the month. 

Oh and I lost the lip sync challenge.  I did not make grand champion.  I know.  Heartbreak.  ;)  Actually Miley is the most heartbroken.  ;)  Losing is good for her though.  I'm showing how good of a loser I am in front of her, but she doesn't read the blog so I can complain here.  ha.  ;)

Summery thoughts

Hi all or none,  I know blogging isn't a thing anymore.  I don't think.  I don't really have any blogs to read.  They've all fizzled.  My solution, if I continue to come back and add to this site, is the 'follow by email' link in the sidebar.  That way you don't have to check on the blog and feel the emptiness that comes when it is indeed still empty.  This way it will email you if there is new content.  It's not a lazy thing, it's convenient and protecting your emotional health kind of thing.  ;)

Since I am here right now, instead of cleaning my house Friday floor day, I'll give you some of my thoughts.

My head is crowded with them, maybe this will help me again.  Sort and dismiss kind of thing.  It might help my typing skills, since I'm moving pretty slow typing this with lots of errors.  Oh my stars.  Rusty.

Playdates:  feel like babysitting to me.  I do not want to babysit.  My poor kids will have to play with each other cause I refuse to ask other people to take them for a playdate.  They have no problem asking me, but I can't be like that.  It feels rude.  Rude right??  Is it just me.  I should be the one to invite them over.  Maybe they are asking me cause I'm not asking them. . . but they aren't offering up their own homes to us either.  Ugh.  Playdates are the worst.  Why are they called playdates anyway?  I don't remember going on one "playdate" as a child.  Weird.

Plants:  Trying to keep my new indoor and new outdoor plants alive is stressful.  I already killed a new tree.  OK, I'm sure it wasn't me, but I feel bad all the same.  Fixed the issues and replaced it, but now I have anxiety over it's health.  Can you helicopter parent a tree?  Cause I'm doing it.  I got an aloe plant for the library.  I figure cactus will be easier to keep alive, but I have no experience with cactus, just the traumatic memories of my Grandma's giant cactus planter in her backyard.  Shudder.  I can do this.  Positive thoughts alone will make this a reality.  Thank heaven for Google's wisdom, or more like Google's ability to point me to wisdom. . . if such a thing can exist on the internet.  ?

Projects:  We're still working on our garden that we started clearing out last year.  It got put on hold to do the house project.  Anyway, it's still there and still in the process.  Looking for cinder blocks to raise it up.  Those are surprisingly hard to come by here for some reason.  Three stores later and we finally found some.  It's a bummer that Amazon doesn't ship that kind of stuff for me.

Amazon:  I've become reliant on it.  Codependent.  I need nothing else.

Foster care:  I can't get this idea out of my head for a long time now.  I think I need to be involved in it somehow, but finding the right way for me has been a struggle.  I've done lots of research.  I haven't settled on anything yet, but I have this overwhelming feeling that I need to help kids and I don't feel like the money I give is enough.  I'm sure foster care will play a part in my path.  I just don't know where in the path.  Still working through conflicting thoughts.

School:  Jovey got a spot in the preschool at Miley's school.  Yay!  We are very happy about losing that super fun commute.  Miley is super excited to be in 4th grade and I am trying not to worry about the fact that she's one year closer to changing schools.  Ugh.  Stop already kid.

Library:  We don't need the rest of our house, cause the library is the place to be.  The girls even play 'library' in it.  My super comfy chair and pretty windows are quite the draw for me to sit and read all day instead of actually doing any work.  The struggle is real.

Ethiopia:  Finished Jo's PAR (post adoption report) paperwork this week, submitted yearly to Ethiopia.  At the end of April Ethiopia closed down adoptions.  It's heartbreaking.  I feel so bad for all those families waiting or worse, at the end of the process.  I pray their government allows those who have traveled for court to finish the process.  I feel so very blessed and so very sad at the same time.  Jovey talks about visiting Ethiopia again someday.  She knows about the unrest of late and so she knows it isn't safe for her to travel there.  I tell her some things, but I want her to have a good feeling about where she came from so she doesn't feel scared or bad.  She's so young.  It's so hard.

Swimming suspension:  I had some scar tissue removed from my knee.  And I did it at the best time of year possible.  The day before the last day of school.  I can't go swimming for two weeks.  My girls were not happy with my timing.  In my defense, I didn't realize I'd need stitches when I went in to get my knee fixed, so I didn't know I'd be a big summer bummer.  Yeah, not good enough.  So here we are, only been swimming twice so far because Dave was available to do so.  I'm not good at letting my kids swim without a parent able to jump in and save them. . . or just swim with them.  Water and I aren't bffs.  We need to survive on dry land for four more days.  Oh and our backyard pools popped.  Our summer plans are really working out.  ;)

Bugs:  Dave wanted to take the girls somewhere, and since it's hot that somewhere was the mountains.  My girls are not outdoorsy.  Probably cause we don't do outdoorsy, well ever.  Miley surprised us all and had fun exploring and taking pictures.  That camera we gave her for Christmas was a great buy.  She didn't even complain about the 'hiking.'  You should be shocked by that.  We were.  Jovey on the other hand, had mild to moderate panic attacks about the bugs touching her.  We are mostly to blame for not dressing her appropriately.  Sorry, I'm rusty at this outdoorsy stuff.  I did spray her with bug spray, but that didn't dissuade the entire bug population from swarming.  Jo and I had the worst of it.  I'm thinking it was our nice smelly lotion.  I've got three itchy bug bites despite the bug spray.  That stuff never works for me anyway.  It was beautiful and cooler and maybe with more preparation Jovey could do it again, but I have my doubts.

Fruitless:  I've been fruit free for months now.  And some veggies too, and soda, treats, and wheat.  It's a sad existence.  I'd been sick for so long that it's nice to finally be feeling normal again.  It turns out I can't absorb fructose.  Do you know how many things have fructose in them???  It's not good.  Sometimes I really miss fruit, but not as much as I thought I would.  Being NOT sick is so much better than eating fruit.  Though when we get to the fall and I am in need for a caramel apple it might get ugly.

Zinc:  Dave swears by it for his head colds.  I can't stand those stupid lozenges.  Makes me lose my sense of taste, but since I've lost the food I love to eat what does it really matter right?  ;)  I admit, that when I take one at the beginning of coldish symptoms they seem to go away, but then a few days later they are back and we go round and round in circles.  I think zinc (zicam) actually keeps me mildly sick.  Maybe I should be better at taking them for days and not just the first day and stop when I feel better?  User error?  Probably.  Speaking of which I need to go take one and do it every four hours or whatever the crap the bottle says.  If only I had a pharmacist to remind me of these things.  ;)

Memories:  I just started putting together a photobook for 2016.  I don't think I can call it a scrapbook anymore.  No scraps are used, well except for my memory trying to write something on the page.  It's just a lot of photos arranged chronologically by month for the year.  Maybe it's a year book.  I am so behind.  I should do 2017 simultaneously.  Yeah, that's not going to happen.  Oh well.

June-ish:  It's June right?  I should be celebrating my birthday right now.  Why do I not have any cake??  My family is failing me.  I kinda forgot too.  Maybe they can get me a cake for tomorrow.  ;)

Decorated:  As in past tense.  I think I'm done with all the rooms.  And I am sad.  I don't want to be done.  I guess I could work on an outdoor piece for the courtyard, but that's not fun like buying furniture and rugs and stuff to hang on the walls.  Ok, maybe it's a little fun.  I should dye Jovey's curtains, maybe that will help with the sadness.  ;)  She probably really needs a rug for her room though.  ;)

Mommin:  Miley feeds Jovey now.  It's a summer thing.  I wholly appreciate it.  There is something about making food that is just unfulfilling to me.  I hope she remembers her food pyramid.  Maybe I should check in on them now. . .

you are here

Everything is an estimate in international adoption, but this week I got an email that was like putting a tack on the map. . . we are here. . .

Where is here?  Well let me tell you.  Everything has been submitted to the US Embassy and now it is up to them to do the orphan status investigation.  New estimate, 2 -3 weeks, optimistically.  Praying that the police officer is available and cooperative for interview.

Story about this stressful step. . . So this whole time since we've been back from Africa it's been like a roller coaster.  I never know how I'm going to feel from day to day.  Crazy.  This past week was a little intense as we were waiting on one single form to have everything submitted, or else we'd have to wait another whole week, cause they only submit to Embassy on Wednesdays.  So Wednesday, came and I didn't get an email, panic of course set in.  Talked to the agency and they said that the Embassy had asked for a document they never usually request, the I-171H (not just for our family, there were 5 of us).  The very approval (or re-approval) letter that the post office lost for us, that we just barely received this week after asking for a duplicate to be sent.  I was thinking about dropping it by the office some time just for their records, but I didn't feel rushed cause the Embassy already had it and they don't need it from us (the agency thinks their system was down and that's why they requested the info they already had).  I was scanning something of Miley's the other day though and decided I would just scan it in too and send it in an email to the agency.  And then this happens, they had the form because of it and were able to submit on Thursday instead.  So very glad I did that (inspired) so we could be submitted on time and not wait the extra week.  Each week is harder than the last so it may have saved a little of my sanity.  ;)

Anyway, you don't want to hear about my sanity or lack thereof. . .

Our baby girl has a passport, which I got a copy of and it is the cutest thing even with her Daddy's name attached to her own.  That's right, on her legal documents it lists David as her middle name.  Don't worry, it won't stay that way.  ;)

We got her Ethiopian birth certificate, with us listed as her adoptive parents.  The birth certificate is a tricky issue with adoption.  I don't know how other adoptive parents feel about it, but I do know that they want to have the certificate with their names on it.  For us personally, it feels wrong to put our name on their birth certificate, because we didn't birth them.  I actually like that it says adoptive parent on Jovey's BIRTH certificate.  It doesn't make me feel less like her parent at all.  I wish it was that way on Miley's as well.  I don't know why, but it just feels wrong to me.  Like I'm claiming something that I shouldn't.  We will also get a US birth certificate for Jovey, which I find strange and unnecessary, but it helps with dealing with our government. . . you know like education stuff.  It will keep people from questioning whether she is an American citizen, but it's also kind of a lie cause she wasn't born here.  I don't know.  It's complicated and I have complicated feelings associated with it.  Oh and we had her birthdate wrong before.  On her birth certificate it is November 25.  Her Ethiopian birthday is 3/16/2005.  I'm thinking we'll be celebrating both.  You know how I love birthdays!!

We got the adoption decree with the judge's ruling that we are her parents and she stamped us as AWESOME!  OK, maybe it didn't say awesome, but I could tell with the pressure that her official stamp was placed that she was feeling something to that effect.  ;)

All of her paperwork had to be translated from Amharic to English and everything had to be there before the Embassy would start their part.  Thus the wait.  But they did it all, our agency got everything ready and I couldn't be happier with their help and support so . . .

. . . we're feeling good.  Hopeful.  Optimistic.  Or I'm trying to feel those things and am mostly successful.

so no one has said happy birthday to me yet

. . . and it's like June 6th already.  I know, I didn't remind you at the first of the month or at the end of last month that June was approaching and as such the glorious month long holiday.. . my birthday!

Actually celebrating my birthday hasn't really been on my mind.  I'm slightly obsessed with paperwork and paperwork and checking my email to see if there is any news about a certain baby and lengthy legal process which I'm afraid I talk too much about here. . . on the blog.  Sorry if my adoption stuff is starting to chafe a little.  I understand.  Dave recommends talcum powder, baby powder, and/or some fresh air.  ;)  For me, however, nothing helps to get it off my mind or curb my impatience.  This wait is the WORST one ever and I am just barely surviving without losing all my hair.  It is extremely hot here so maybe losing all my hair wouldn't be all that bad.

Here's what I know right now, cause let's face it I won't be able to talk about anything else, even my birthday. . . Jovey is getting her medical exam today, or has had it already since they are 10 hours ahead of us, which means I should be checking my email right now.   Anyway, that is the last piece to be submitted (but not until Wednesday) and then we wait for the orphan status investigation.  With abandonment cases this can take a little more time, but not necessarily.  This is where it gets tricky to predict.  We don't know.  It depends on the amount of information provided at the forefront and how many interviews need to be done.  The US Embassy needs to be 100% sure that she is a true orphan.  We want it all on the up and up as well, just hoping that the truth is evident and all the work done by our agency/orphanage/police is put to good use.

Praying/wishing/hoping for a very reasonable two weeks. . . but we don't know and we can't predict.  So once again we're waiting.  Waiting, it could be our permanent status update on Facebook.  If I cared to update Facebook.

Here is a little video of our girl, that I've watched a hundred times.  Wishing I took more, or brought my tripod and just had it record her 24/7 while I enjoyed the moment. . .


IMG 4803 from Mindy on Vimeo.

4/4/13

Hello internet,

I've been absent for some time now, for a number of reasons, but now I've noticed that I've missed you a bit.  So here I am.

Dave and I are getting ready to do some traveling.  We don't have a timeframe yet, but we are optimistic.  We attended our travel seminar and got a nice long packing list to chip away at.  Looking forward to having that filled with check marks.  We're packing lots of donations for the orphanage as well.  We can take two 100lb bags (checked) filled with extras.  I've had some awesome family step up to help us with that part and to them we are so grateful.  It seriously makes me tear up to think about their kindness.  So far we've got clothing for older children (it was so surreal buying boy clothes, I seriously didn't know how to do it), shoes, and some books.  Baby wipes, and ordered some formula as well.  It's looking good and hope to add a lot more.

We received news of our baby Jovey.  She is doing well and is happily residing at the Transition Home.  That is the facility run by our agency, so she is not in the orphanage.  We also got a 5 second video (I don't know why it was so short, don't ask) of her from our director who just returned from Ethiopia.  I believe our baby girl rolled her eyes at the camera.  She is most definitely my girl.  She is almost 10 lbs now and 23" long, at 4 mos old.  The Pre-hearing happened on D's birthday and the agency told us that if the court needed further information they would hear something, otherwise no news is great news on that front.  Now we wait, like we have been, but in a new phase with a touch more anxiety.  The next news we'll get is the GET ON A PLANE NOW, kinda of news.  Hopefully with a weeks notice at least though. *

Miley is all signed up for Kindergarten.  Sigh.  She's thrilled anyway.  I'm not really worried about her, she'll be fine and make friends in any situation she finds herself.  I'm just gonna miss my baby.  She already wants to lose her teeth.  I'm trying to keep them in her head a touch longer.

We enjoyed our spring breaks.  We took two.  We thought we deserved it.  Miley really missed school the first time, but the second time she was ok missing it because her Grammy was here to play with.  Hit the beach, got a little burned.  Me on my shins and Dave, well hopefully you saw the pic, most everywhere cause he can't figure out how to apply sunscreen.  I threatened him for the thousandth time that I would make him put it on every day when leaving the house until he learned/remembered to do it when he actually needed it.  Miley, however, was unscathed and had the best time talking like a pirate for the duration of our beachy experience.  The dogs also enjoyed the sand and the water, though I couldn't get them to go out very deep.

Took my mini Nikon to the beach and it faired pretty well.   I believe it will be of service on our trip to Africa.  If not, I'll take my good one for trip number two. . . or vice versa.  Who am I kidding, I still don't know what I'm going to do.

Miley missed her school Easter egg hunt, because I had the wrong time in my head.  Not on the calendar, but in my head it was an hour later.  I felt awful.  I don't like forgetting things.  Didn't make it to any other hunts either this year.  I'm doing great with this holiday.  She found plastic eggs at home though, and got plenty of sweets so I'm going to dump this guilt over the edge and worry about more important things. . . like whether I should make cookies or cupcakes to erase any residual disappointment.  ;)  For myself, cause kiddo doesn't seem to care at all.

D and I played some tennis the other day, after YEARS of not playing.  It was rough, I'm not going to lie.  It's not riding a bike.  I haven't ridden a real bike in years either, I wonder if I still can??  Anyway, tennis was fun, and we got better.  Monte Python/Holy Grail?  Well, that's what it sounded like in my head when I typed it anyway.  Now Dave is convinced we must play much more to improve or the shame will haunt us forever.  We shall see.

We think we may have a solution to our middle name problem with Jovey. . . two.  Yep, we may use two of them.  It will make her name longer, but that's what feels right presently.  Right now we're thinking Zala Quinn.  We'll see.

Well internet, it's been nice updating you on our life this month.  It got me out of watching The Hobbit with the hubs for now.  Probably can't dodge that bullet forever though, and maybe it won't be so bad. . . but the length of it may kill me.  I can't sit still forever.

So, how are you?

Sincerely,

*Yeah, obviously I wrote this before I got the NEWS the other day!

Our bags aren't packed

I'm not ready to go. . . but I'll have to be soon because. . .
WE GOT A COURT DATE!  

I can't explain how excited and freaked out I am by this news!

We will see our baby girl at the end of April!  I kinda felt that would be the case, but didn't want to get my hopes up too high.

April 29th! 

She's almost officially and forever more our girl!

I've really got to go start packing.  I didn't want to start too early and jinx us.  Stupid superstition.  Now I wish I was already packed so I wouldn't have to do it with shaking hands.  Yep, I'm shaking.  But not crying, I already did that, the shaking hasn't stopped yet though.  It will, right?

I DON'T KNOW

Well that was my answer to a dozen questions yesterday, but today I can say I know something. . . We got our preliminary hearing date set, March 26!  Serendipitous?  I think so, it's Dave's birthday!

What this means -

The Ethiopian court has our daughter's case scheduled for review.  Which means we are officially on the docket, and not just officially waiting to be on the docket.  It feels very official now.  Remember, we do not travel for the preliminary hearing.  I believe it's purpose is to determine if all the paperwork for our daughter is valid and that she is adoption ready, legally.  We have the director of the program in Ethiopia as our 'power of attorney' who will be there on our behalf.  Just in case you were wondering, cause I get asked that quite a bit.

What happens next -

After the hearing, MOWA (Ministry of Women's Affairs) will then submit their letter of recommendation to the court. . . and THEN we will get our Final court date.

Yes, this means more waiting.  It always means more waiting, if you haven't figured that out yet.  ;)  We don't have a guesstimate on when our travel will happen.  It just depends on when they can fit us in after they get the letter, which usually takes a couple weeks.  Nothing works quickly.  I can't guess time wise cause then I get hounded by people and I've learned my lesson about that one.

What happens after that -


The Final court date will be when the Ethiopian court stamps us with approval and finalizes the adoption, which is why we need to be there. . . but we won't be able to bring her home until the US Embassy grants approval of the case.  That takes a couple of months, because even the US is extremely slow and obsessed with paperwork.  That will be our second and final trip to Ethiopia, at least for awhile.  ;)

Sorry if you've read this all before, but I get asked the same questions over and over again by the same people even, so I assume everyone needs a review.  I realize it's easier for me to remember the process because I'm living it and every one else is only partially listening when I explain all this crazy/confusing stuff just waiting for me to get to the good part of the 'Gotcha Day'.  ;)  You'll have to wait with me on that one.

Even Dave needs the reminder. . . I texted him the PH date and he immediately told everyone at work that we were going to Africa.  Doh, head slap.  He was too excited, but thankfully corrected that announcement and will not being making any more.  ;)

so you'll stop asking

Update time. . .

Got some new pictures of little miss via email and I can't stop looking at them.  Love her.  Here is what I know about what is going on. . .

Our case was filed January 31, 2013 with the Ethiopian Federal Court.  Our case has been logged into their system, and we are now awaiting our first hearing date.  We should find out when our first hearing date will be scheduled in about 2-3 weeks.  We do not travel for the first hearing date.  After the hearing is completed and MOWA has submitted their letter of Recommendation the court will schedule the second hearing for us to travel.

MOWA is the Ministry of Women's Affairs in Ethiopia.  Our second hearing (where we are there) is when we pass court with the Ethiopian government and they say Jovey is ours.  However, we do not get to bring her home yet, because she has to get Embassy approval.  The US needs to be 100% sure that the child in question is an orphan and has not been bought, sold, or stolen in any way.  It takes more time. 

After we pass the court, (that's the first trip), we can then post pictures of Jovey on the internet.  Until then, I can text you a picture if you want one and if you promise not to put it on the internet. ;)  Just let me know.

Miley got to bring home the classroom pet for a sleepover today (stay with me, it will relate to the subject shortly), it's a stuffed bear named Roxie.  She was so excited and immediately gave Roxie a tour of the house. . . that is after she introduced her to her sister (the picture of her on the refrigerator).  I showed Miley the new photos and she said, 'Mom, she looks bigger.'  Yep, she does, which makes us sad and yet happy too that she is doing well and we still get to see her grow.

So I need to remind you now to take all TIME estimates as that, ESTIMATES, and in no way firm or in our control.  Our agency is not psychic and most of this is in the Ethiopian government's hands right now.  It is an educated guess and if it takes longer than that I do not want to hear whining.  You've been warned. . . again.  ;)

always answer the phone

Friday night we spent watching a movie together.  Ice Age something or other.  I really don't like any of those movies, why are they popular?  Anyway, I digress.  My phone rang, but I didn't recognize the number and didn't answer.  Then the home phone rang.  I grumbled about telemarketers and what not. ;)  I checked my phone message and while listening to a voicemail from our adoption agency, Dave's phone started ringing, and I yelled, ANSWER IT!!

That number is now programmed into my phone.  ;)  It was the call we had been waiting for, but did not expect to get so late on a Friday night.  Our daughter was waiting for us on the other side of the world.  Sheila told us to check our email to see pictures and read more details, but I was already bawling and knew it wouldn't matter. . . she was ours.  This is what we call in adoption, the REFERRAL!

She's two months old and we are calling her Jovey.  We are already smitten, definitely in deep smit.  Love her!

Miley was a little concerned that my eyes were leaking so much that night and was very relieved that I had better control of myself the next morning.  She told me today that she's going to teach her sister Spanish, which her knowledge of is quite limited, but at least she's thinking of things to do.  ;) She thinks her baby sister is beautiful and likes to carry around her picture.

You may have seen our photos of our good news, and may now be confused as to where to find them. . . well we can't have her picture on the internet in any way until the adoption is finalized (which we learned shortly after posting them), so I hope you liked the sneak peek cause that's all we got.  Sorry.  I didn't want you to panic and think something bad happened that made me delete them.  I was sad to see them go too.

So you're thinking what now, when do we bring her home?  Whoa, not yet.  More waiting to come.  Our first visit will be once they set a court date in Ethiopia.  Until then we wait, and wait some more.  More waiting will be required after we return from that visit as well.  Prepare yourself now, so I won't hear the complaining.  ;)  I'll cut off the updates if I have to.  ;)

Until then we are thrilled and worried, because now we have a little face to go with our prayers.  It may be because I've been looking at her picture too much, but I think she kinda looks like Miley. . . then again, maybe my eyesight is suspect due to tears.  ;)

Thank you for your awesome comments on the pics I had to take down.  They made me cry, which admittedly wasn't hard since I was already doing that, but still very much appreciated your support.

updates

The important ones first. . .

I just taught Miley the art of the Fun Dip. . . lick, dip, repeat.  She took to it naturally.  Is it weird that she is four and I just gave her this candy?  Well, technically I didn't, her teacher did.  Yeah, maybe I'm not the fun mom.

I've been trying to put together a scrapbook for last year. . . the whole year, cause I didn't do any of it as I went along.  Every time I do this I swear at my past self for not keeping on top of things.  It would have been so much easier to do it then, but oh no I can't ever do it.  As I'm reprimanding my past self, my current self is thinking, 'I have too much scrapbooking to do from last year, to do this year's now as well.'  It's a vicious cycle.

I learned from my walk down memory lane that it is much colder this year than it was last year.  Lots of park pictures last January, this time around, pictures of cuddles in blankets.  Or another theory is that the longer we live here in the warmer climes, the more we become accustomed to it and our blood is so thin at this point that anything less than 100 is chilly to us now.  Could be.  I'll check my past six years of scrapbooks to corroborate this trend.

I need a new computer.  It had to be said.

The new and improved internet is installed and so far, (don't tell my husband) I'm not really noticing any fireworks.  I guess internet is subtle like that, but for the bill increase I was expecting some fireworks.  Alright, I guess it's faster.  The other place was a pain in the butt, so maybe these guys will be nicer to deal with anyway.

You'll notice in the side bar a brand new shiny widget that shows the top 20 commenters on my blog!  It's a shameful ploy to get attention by rewarding you with your name in lights, or red-slightly-larger-font on the side.  I was gonna offer something as a reward for commenting the most, but since Tiff has out distanced everyone else considerably I don't think that will work out.

Miley has grown two inches since her birthday.  She measures and updates us on her progress.  43", she's a giant.

Miley is now a CTR 4 in Primary, and as far as I can tell from the Primary meet-your-new-teacher activity and her first day of class. . . the Primary presidency thinks she's a troublemaker.  She's in a class with a couple other little boys, none of her friends, no girls, same teachers as last year, and the other class of her age group is twice as big.  Hmmmm.  Since I already have the president in fear of me, I don't know if I should ask about this one or not.  ;)  Dave really wants too, but he has this thing where he likes people to like him and so he waits for me to do this kind of stuff.

Dave and I have some similar tastes in books, not all but some.  He checked one out from the library that I wanted to read as well.  As soon as he was done I read it, but by that time it was a day over due.  He didn't mind, he's not like me, he's a rule breaker.  He returned it and then I got an email from the library saying the book I wanted was in.  Sorry hon, for costing you 10 cents, but to be fair, you could have read it faster.  ;)  Speaking of my perfect library record; Dave sullied it with a similar experience in reverse this year.  I told him he had to pay it and explain to the librarian it was his fault.  ;)

Dave got a Nook from his incredible wife for Christmas.  However, since I already have a nook and neither of us has covers for our devices, I offered to draw something on the back of his so as to distinguish between the two.  Here was my suggestion. . .

Perfect, right?  Right, for a couple of reasons.  1.  No one will want to steal it from him at work.  And 2.  I like to call the books he reads unicorn books so I thought this would be fitting.  The library identifies fantasy/adventure books with a picture of a unicorn on the binding, not anything manly like a dragon much to his dismay.  That's what he gets for reading Tolkien.  He doesn't check the blog, so I can say these things now.  He trusts me like that.  ;)

This is Miley's rocket ship to Africa that she made last month.  It may have been a little premature, cause well, we're still number 4.  Yep, no progress last month.  It hurts to tell people that we have no news cause then they always get that look on their face that is either sympathy/disappointment, or suspecting that we are being scammed by our agency. . . or if it's by phone I get it in the voice of the response 'oh'.  Not so fun, so I'm typing it here to hopefully avoid talking to you.  ;)  Don't worry, I have a lot of locals and illiterates that will require it in person.  We have much hope for this month however, but no more estimates will be coming from me at this point.

That is what you call burying the lead.

Four!

That's our number!  We're fourth and I couldn't be more excited about that.  Since the agency has been referring around four a month, we could see our baby girl as one amazing Christmas present this year.  Yeah, I'm crying, but also not getting too excited to realize it may still be a January miracle.  Either way, this number is a present in itself for me.

Before you read this and think we'll have a baby in our arms this year, stop, reality check. . . a referral means that a baby has been picked in Ethiopia to be placed in our family.  Plucked out of an orphanage and awaiting our visit to the agency's home in Ethiopia.  We'll get a photo and information about her, that is all.

I have to explain this a lot, so sorry if you already understood that and are tired of hearing me say it, but it's my new thing, being a broken record.  ;)

Four.  It's a good number.  Ask Miley.  ;)  Her four does comes with a lot of attitude though.

yep

So it's November and October totally wore me out so enjoy this post while you can cause I may be sleeping for the rest of the month.

Updates:  We are now number 8 on the waiting list for Africa.  If you are thinking we didn't move up much in the last month and wondering what our agency has been doing. . . well they have more than one list.  We are on the healthy infant list and so they did more referrals than just three, but only three helped us move up.  We won't be travelling this year to Africa.  Right now it looks like February depending on how the next couple of months go.  We'll know more by December.  Still positive and excited.  Looking forward to bringing her home during the warmer months!

Miley hurt something or other and required a bandage to feel better.  Her Daddy was on call for that one.  She wasn't sure he was up to the task and asked him, 'Are you good at putting on bandaids, Dad?' He asserted that he was well practiced (he does give shots everyday lately).  She relented and let him help her and then said, 'Wow dad you did great.  You're like a dentist.'

I was about to type that we made it so far through preschool without missing any school or getting sick hooray, until kid showed signs of a head cold today.  She hasn't missed school yet, but I'm a little disappointed that she's sick at all.  Fingers crossed this season goes better than last year.

I was explaining the elections to Miley the other day.  She proudly got an 'I voted' sticker as well.  I told her we were picking who we wanted to be president.  She asked me if I voted for her.  I told her I did not, unfortunately, think of that.  She then had to tell me that she would be a totally great president and that she really wants to be it.  Man, I totally wasted my vote.

I'm preparing a lesson on nutrition and the Word of Wisdom right now.  Meanwhile I have a huge bag of Halloween candy staring me in the face.  I'm thinking I need to use it as a handout to get it out of my house.  It will better the nutrition in my house anyway.

I learned from my Halloween party that teenagers will not eat food that resembles body parts.  No takers on the brain jello, or much interest in the cookie fingers.  Even lots of my eyeball cake balls were left behind.  They tasted good by the way, don't worry they weren't wasted.  However, they happily ate the guacamole that came spewing out of a pumpkin's mouth like vomit.  What gives?

I felt compelled to write an email to Disney about some inappropriate jokes about internet porn on one of their kid shows.  Seriously?!!  I couldn't have ben more disappointed.  And in reply I was given instructions to call their non-toll free line to leave a message regarding their programming.  Disappointed once again.

Miley wants everything for Christmas.  So I told her she can pick one thing and only ask me for that one thing every single day until Christmas.  It may be killing her.  ;)  Each new commercial is pure torture.

I am so glad the election stuff is over so I can actually be friends with people again.  It's better not to know all that they believe or interpret about politics.  Why does it always come out so fiery anyway?  Election time always brings out the worst in people.  I most appreciated the company of people who were unaware it was an election year at all.  ;)  And I may never go on Facebook again.

I was so happy to see that my Halloween decor still fit in the garage with only one additional tub added this year, until I realized that I also had to store a lot of stuff up on top shelves in my house.  Yeah, kinda forgot about those.  Some in plain sight.  It's Halloween year round at our place.  Oh well.  I may have to cancel Christmas or Dave's mission memorabilia for storage space next year.

At the Trunk-or-Treat, Miley met up with some of her friends from church and from school.  She introduced them all to each other and it was the cutest thing.  Then at Costco waiting in line to get a berry smoothie she made a friend and introduced her to me.  I didn't realize until now that she does this a lot, since she learned to talk it's been a regular occurrence.  I wonder where it comes from?  She's like a mini adult some times, that freaks me out.  ;)

I bought a book, an actual hold in your hand turn the page book, this week.  I banned all physical book buying on account of all my shelves being really full, this of course does not apply to kids books because I can't stop myself from buying those.  The book I bought was the sequel to the Candy Shop Wars, which is in the kids book realm only older and thicker.  It felt good.  It may be a slippery slope however.  At some point in my life I'd like a house with a library room.  Insert wavy lines and dreamy thoughts here.

Kiddo made me so proud today when she saw some stuff at the store and told me that she could use it and make it into something else.  She told me her plan on how she'd need to paint it and xyz, I may have stopped listening cause I was shopping, but it was cute nonetheless ;) . . . . .  At home she was going through my office drawers and found some flowers which she decided she needed to use as a project as well.  She's got the itch to create stuff.  I love that.

I have a movie to edit, a slideshow to make, and a handful of posters to start.  I best be getting to it.

one year later

So it was a year ago that we officially signed the papers to start our international adoption process.  It doesn't seem like it's been that long.  I actually didin't realize it until I checked some paperwork to make sure all of our documents were still current and nothing had expired. . . . background checks, fingerprints, visas. . .etc. etc.  (we're good, in case you were worried about the same thing ;).

I get asked a lot if I'm frustrated with the wait, or if I'm disappointed because this was supposed to be a quicker adoption than domestic. . . If you know me, you know that I hate waiting, or more like hate wasting time.  Surprisingly I am not freaked out by how long this has taken.  I surprised myself with that little realization.

People sometimes see adoption as competitive in nature.  Like, I'll feel bad if someone else gets picked before me, or if I see others get a baby first.  I don't know why this thought thrives, because I don't feel that way at all and the more I think about it the less sense it makes to me.  I tear up every time I hear about someone getting a child.  It fills me with so much gratitude and happiness.  I think it just comes down to the fact that I KNOW we get the kids we are supposed to have.  It's not random, it's not a fight for first pick.  I feel blessed with my Miley and I know a sister, especially for her and for us is waiting. . . so I'll keep on waiting too.

As for updates, this is what I've got. . . The Ethiopian Prime Minister died this week.  The deputy prime minister will take over, but he wasn't as strong of a leader, or so the article said, as his predecessor.  Adoption-wise nothing is expected to change with this development.  Just news.

Ethiopia also revised their internet video chat laws.  No more jail time and fines. . . death sentences or what not.  Skype is back on track there and so we'll be able to use it.  I was ok with the ban initially, cause I hadn't thought about being able to Skype at all. . . but now I'm glad it's back on the table.  Well, for now, we'll see when our time comes around.

We got a new caseworker, ours moved out of state.  Bummer deal, we liked Angela, but Koni is doing great so far.

We are now number 13 make that 11 on the list.  I thought the number was smaller, but I was wrong.  Oh well, it is progress and we are moving up!

We're going in to get all sorts of nasty/mean/painful/helpful/life-saving vaccines next week.  Fun times. Miley is happy she won't be going to Africa with us, cause she wasn't such a huge fan of the four shots she just got at her last doctor appointment.

Our caseworker is optimistic about us getting to Ethiopia this fall.  We have paperwork that starts to expire come January and she feels we won't have to worry about renewing anything, so that's exciting.

Oh and the paperwork that expires are our birth certificates and marriage license (among other things, but those are the ones I wasn't expecting), can you believe that?  Like getting a newer copy will change anything on the stupid thing except for the date of issue.  I can't believe how incredibly lame government crap is!!  Talk about wasting my time and money, and then every one else I have to deal with to get another copy.  Insane but true.  I'm definitely crossing my fingers that I don't have to redo any paperwork.  I was good doing it once, twice might cause me to curse a little.

That information totally ruined my zen about this experience.  ;)  I'm going to believe Koni and not worry about ridiculous red tape anymore.

Ahhh, zen back again.  Have a great day!

this and that

Randomly me today. . .

Feeling slightly like a pirate, with my new tooth.  (My molar cracked, had to get a crown).  I wish I told them to make it gold so it would be fancy and ridiculous looking.  Happy to be rid of the temporary which gave me serious headaches, cause it altered my bite too much.  Very happy that oral anesthesia wasn't needed for putting the actual crown on, (kinda like that it's called a crown ;). . . cause I hate needles and that numb feeling.  I didn't actually know that dentists used needles until I was in college.  My first dentist was a magician and hid it from me the whole time.  Ignorance is bliss.

Wishing I didn't get the plastic Easter eggs out so dang early. . . like a few days before Easter, cause kid has wanted to hide and find them a billion times already.  I do love how excited this girlie gets about everything though.

 I'm gonna kill my sister for telling Miley to ask to go to Chuck E. Cheese.  She doesn't know what it is, but she's sure she wants to go there because of that suggestion.  Today I told her Jack in the Box is Chuck E. Cheese.  She didn't see what the big deal was about, probably didn't buy it completely.  I'm afraid I haven't heard the end of that one.

I LOVE the Photojojo site.  I want every product listed on their page.  There aren't that many, but I spent a good portion of time perusing the listings.  I love camera stuff.  I may have bought some.  ;)

Introduced Miley to the Wizard of Oz, well in a child friendly way. . . cause those monkeys are made for nightmares. . . we bought the Muppet version (of course) and she loves it.  It makes me happy to hear her talk about the classics, or break into song from one of the Disney classics too.  I love my girlie.

Recipe disaster project in it's final stages.  Only have desserts left to type up, of course this is my biggest pile.  ;)  Now I'm thinking I want the pages to be cute and not just plain text.  Something is definitely wrong with me.

This spring wind is killing me!!!  Allergies galore.  Totally annoyed with mother nature.

If I see any more Do Not Judge Me signs, I may start judging them.  I'm just sayin.

I officially gave up the dream of owning a point and shoot camera.  It's dead.  The hope is gone.  I stopped believing, Journey is going to be very disappointed.  Now I am invested in finding new lenses for my D90 and any kind of lomo or fun camera like my polaroid.

Kinda really love Pinterest.  Didn't want to, but really do heart it.  So useful.  Dave is a big fan as well.  I'll find him checking it on his phone for recipes to try out.  Lots of recipes.  What am I going to do with all those recipes. . . add them to my binder?  Leave them on pinterest indefinitely.  I need a plan.

I really want to take the tweezers to Miley's eyebrows.  Not in a crazy way, just a few strays.  Is that bordering on toddlers and tiaras behavior?  Cause that show really freaks me out. . . but those few hairs are asking for it.  Slippery slope to fake tans and flippers?

I love getting mail, real mail not just the catalogs that burst out of the mailbox, though those are fun too.  I've got a thank you card sitting on my dresser from sweet Trish, that makes me smile to look at, even though I got it weeks ago.  ;)  A big thank you to those who sent in the postcards for Dave's birthday poster.  It was fun.  He loved it.  I love that he loved it.  I kept them and am turning them into a little book.  The other day Miley was totally bummed that there wasn't anything in the mail for her.  I guess we all love getting mail here.

Saw Mirror Mirror, it was cute and fun.  I'd buy it.  I don't understand why it's reviews were lackluster.

Found out that Miley could walk and even run in heels.  Crazy.  Really freaked Dave out.  ;)

Miley needs a talent for her school talent show at the end of the month.  Can the walking in high heels thing work for that?  Found a new talent of my own. . . untangling slinkies.  Not that I want to do that.  Is tangling them up a skill, cause kid is really good at that too?

Received information from our adoption agency; they said things are running smoothly, much better than they were last quarter.  The US embassy was having issues with a certain form, well an employee and false information on the form, so they slowed everything down with paranoia.  After much work and help from families who have previously adopted, they seem to be on a better track.  We are feeling good and still very excited about our decision to adopt from Ethiopia.  Miley asks quite often when we're going to Africa.  Not yet, but we'll let you know.  ;)

updating

So I got on here with every intention of giving happy updates, but then I checked my email and now I feel more craptastic than happy.  In an effort to remedy that I'm eating fist fulls of tootsie rolls and sitting in the sunshine.  We'll see if it works, maybe not in time for this post however.  ;)

Anyway, I am not good at denial or unnatural positivity so I'm going to update you the only way I know how to, with the truth.  Here it is. . . this adoption stuff is taking freaking long.  Longer than expected, well I expected.  :(  Blah.

The good news:  Our paperwork has arrived safe and sound in Africa (after being authenticated and given an OK stamp in Washington DC), and is in the hands of the very man who will refer a child to us.  Yay!

Our immigration paperwork is in the works.  We have a round of fingerprinting to do again with Homeland Security to make sure we aren't terrorists, though how they tell that from our fingerprints I'll never understand.  ;)

This part however, isn't holding up getting a referral. . . I don't know what is, which is frustrating my fragile patience.  This is the time frame just given to me today. . . six to eight months for a referral.  Our file is right there practically next to the children who need homes, and yet we have to wait some more.  My heart sank a little reading that.  Six to eight months, yeah I know, forever.  Needless to say I have no patience for women complaining about how long they've been pregnant, at this moment. . . ok honestly, ever.  ;)

OK enough moping, time to psyche myself up again, ready for it?  Yeah me either.  Wait, second wind, we knew this would take time, and lots of it, so we'll just hope that her estimation is conservative and even if it isn't, we'll survive.  We're working with two governments, and governments cannot be efficient in any way, somehow that increases their pay or something.  I don't know it's a law, I guess.

I may not know what's going on with them, but I still know we're doing the right thing so I'll bite the patient bullet and not complain, or less so anyway.

This way we won't be in Africa during the rainy season. . . silver lining?  eehhh.

I'll let you know when we find out anything more, until then I need to go buy some more tootsie rolls.  ;)

sorries and stuff

amount due. . . I apologize to the grandparents for filling your Christmas cards so full of photos you may have had to pay extra postage to receive them.  Ummmm, I'm thinking this may have happened last year as well and nobody told me, until now.  Sorry.  I wasn't even thinking about it, but I hope you liked the pictures anyway.  Put it on my tab and I'll do better next time.

high hopes. . . Dave would like to apologize for getting everyone's hopes up by telling people he wanted to travel to Africa in January.  That was a pipe dream of his, since he wanted to use the last of this year's vacation time before it reset in February.  No fact to this rumor, we aren't close to travelling yet.  You should know better than believe Dave's plan though.  ;)  I just found out he told people HIS plan.  Stick with me, I'm the one doing all the work here, I'll have the right information.  ;)

wishlisted. . .The Disney store is taunting me with it's emails.  Always a new discount or promo and here I am biting my nails trying not to click 'add to cart' . . . for ALL those adorable Disney Princess dolls. . .

. . . We already have Tinker Bell, Ariel, and Rapunzel.  I ordered Tiana and Belle.  I couldn't help myself.  I think they are the cutest things and totally want them all!  I'm so glad I have a girlie who I can pretend to buy them for.  ;)

decoration-less. . . Miley wants to know when we'll be putting our lights up outside.  She admires everyone else's and so she's got it into Dave's head that he needs to do some too. . . now that we're what, a handful of days away from Christmas and then take them down.  ha ha.  Well if that's what they want to do. . . I guess we'll see Saturday if it happens.

You've Got to be Kidding Me. . . I suffered from some serious frustration this past week, when our agent sent over some more forms we needed to get done for our adoption dossier.  !!!?&@!?!!  I hate wasting time, and it seems we've been twiddling our thumbs thinking they had things in hand, when in fact there was more to come.  OK, so we got all the additional stuff in and NOW should be good to go.  Fingers crossed, and then crossed again to be extra sure.  Oh and the strangest thing we had to add to our dossier. . . after a federal and state background check, we also needed a letter from our local police department saying we were good citizens.  Seriously, where's the trust?  ;)  I offered to provide a cup of my urine too, if it helps move the process along.  OK, I really didn't, that's gross.

ho ho hum. . . Santa visited Miley's preschool this week.  Miley is mostly indifferent to Santa, since we don't threaten her with him or make a fuss about getting magical presents.  She wasn't afraid of him I guess, sat on his lap asked for a special bike that is purple (???) and told me he was her friend and they were going to go swimming some time.

subtle cues. . . Little Miss was all attitude the other day.  I asked her why she was so crabby and she said, "Mom, look at my forehead (straight faced), see I'm not crabby, I'm happy."  Oh right, the forehead wasn't scrunched, I should have noticed, and knew that meant she was in a good mood.  ;)

facial ticks. . . So Miley loves to sing songs, and she loves it when I sing her a song and stop for her to fill in the word or line that is next.  One night while I was singing her her bedtime songs she stopped me and said, 'mom I want to sing it like this' and then her eyebrows shot way up her forehead and back down, a couple times.   Ummm, I sat for a second trying to figure out what that meant, when it hit me. . . I must raise my eyebrows when I stop to signal her to sing the next part.  It looked freaky on her, I hope I don't look as ridiculous doing it.  ;)

will work for charity. . . Miley is supposed to be working to earn some money to donate for charity.  That is something her preschool does each Christmas.  I can't figure what work to get this kiddo to do.  She helped in the yard for cleanup, but I'd say her effort wasn't worth much cash.  Am I supposed to be being generous or working her little fingers off?  Who is learning the lesson here?  Hmmmm.  I've got to make a longer list of chores.

smitten. . . I'm feeling a deep pull to the new Nikon 1 camera.  It's so pretty, and little, and cool, and pretty.  I'm in deep smit here and begging Dave to let me try out another point and shootish camera!

wake up . . .  Miley experienced a first this week.  She was laying on the couch watching a movie, when she got up her arm was hurting and she was very distressed about it (it fell asleep).  She was panicked.  I told her it was just asleep and it would feel better in a minute.  She yelled "wake up" at her arm and then turned to me "mom, it's not listening, we need to get to the doctor's office." . . and then she brought me my cell phone so I could text daddy and ask him what to do about her arm.  ;)

Bah. . . I can tell Christmas is almost here, cause I can't take much more of these Christmas movies.  I really need to wrap some presents though, I've got nothing.

processing

In case you were wondering what we are doing right now with the adoption. . . processing.  Well I'm not processing much, ruminating would be a more appropriate description for me. . . but the agency and then governments, they're doing the processing on our behalf.

Our home study is done and in the hands of the social workers and our agency.  All our paperwork has been filled out and turned in.  All our background checks have cleared us.  All the repetitive questions have been answered.  Every inch of our lives has been ferreted out for the government to peruse.  Everything is signed, notarized, and stamped with my blood and sweat.  ;)

Now all of that stuff is being crammed into a dossier to be sent off to the Ethiopian embassy and the Utah state government.  Where I'm sure they'll look at it and think, hey these are interesting people let's not take our sweet time processing their documents.  Well I can hope.  ;)  This part will take awhile, so don't be holding your breath waiting for us to give you news.  I could give the reasons why, that we've been given, but for time's sake lets just say it is a matter of bureaucratic inefficiency and cultural chasms of technology.  Seriously, make yourselves comfortable.

Our paperwork will be translated and sent on to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. . . and then who knows.  In the meantime, we do nothing.  Yep, nothing but wait for a referral, that's what comes next.  I shouldn't say nothing, we have been doing a lot of research and have learned a lot of interesting things about Ethiopia.  Sitting on the couch blankly staring off into the middle distance does sound nice though.  ;)  Just not so much in my schedule.

The Ethiopian director will refer a child to us based on our parameters and I'm sure a good portion of inspiration.  The director is Ethiopian, and reputably awesome.  He's also the branch president in his area.  Our agency works with seven orphanages in Ethiopia.  A referral will be sent to our office, we'll get any available medical information and anything else they know about the child.  This could be very scant, but they do test for a number of diseases and that will be included.  We accept our referral in writing, unless we have a VERY good reason not too, or risk not getting placed with at all because the Ethiopian government does not take kindly to insincere people, understandably.

Obviously what I'm telling you from the referral on is what I've been told and not from experience, so more detail could be added in the coming year from our actual real life.  ;)

Would you like to hear the rest of the process?  Well I don't have time to wait for an answer or no answer, so I'm just going to add it here anyway. . .

They encourage us to travel to Ethiopia as soon as possible after we receive the referral.  Backtrack a little, after we accept the referral (before we travel) the child is moved out of the orphanage and into a transition home run by our agency in Ethiopia.  They have better care there and more attention given to them.  This is where the child will stay until they are brought home.  Ok, so we travel within weeks of getting the child's info if possible, and we'll be sure to make it so.  ;)

The first trip is to officially accept the referral by seeing them in person.  It is required in Ethiopia to do this, as it is in Russia and other places which ask for two separate trips.  There are many reasons why, one of which is to try and avoid stupid people (like that lady with the Russian child who decided she didn't like him and wanted to bring him back to Russia) from taking adoption lightly.  For us the benefit of the two trips is that we will not have to adopt the child twice.  The governments see that we have physically seen and accepted the child and the adoption process starts rolling in Ethiopia.  Once completed that's it, we will not have to take any legal action to adopt her in the states.  Once she lands on US soil she will be a citizen.

Our first trip will be for four days.  We'll get to see Ethiopia, spend time with the child, however she will remain in the transition home and their care.  We will then return home and leave a huge chunk of our hearts on another continent for a couple months.  Fingers crossed this time is short and I can survive it.

One last trip to Ethiopia and we bring our girl home.  That's it.  Well for now.  Other little things are involved, like I don't think I mentioned the shots (shudder). . . but in a nutshell that's where we're headed. . . if you were curious.  ;)

I think I can't

I'm at the computer for a second and instead of doing what I should be doing I'm on the dang blog.  I want to type out all the crap in my head, but I don't have time.  This week is a minefield and I'm just trying to keep from getting a foot blown off or you know, brains all over the freshly cleaned walls.  ;)  Alright it's just busy.  I am too busy to tell you what I'm busy with actually.  Oooh, mysterious right?  Right now I'm ratting my hair, cleaning sticky finger prints from my desk, looking at the moss pieces spread on my carpet under my frozen toes, trying to figure out how much more I can fit in the garbage and DI piles, and printing temporary tattoos. . . and of course, typing this with red food colored fingers.  Now you're intrigued?  All in due time my blog stalkers.  Like, next week.

One thing I will share before I get back to reality. . . Miley and I tried something a little new today for lunch.  I know, food, Dave is totally rubbing off on me.  I mean, I don't talk about food.  Wow.  What next?  OK, so anyway, had some pears, looked for something to make with said pears, happened upon a little idea. . . use a graham cracker broken in two to sandwich sliced pears and cream cheese in between.  I admit, I was really skeptical about this one, but Mie and I braved through it and were pleasantly surprised.  Well I was, she ate half and was content with that.  I have more pears so she'll get another shot at it.  ;)  Who knew.  Try it and see if my taste buds are just messed up.

deeper than is my custom

Today I found myself having one of those 'man life is good' moments while driving to pick up Miley from pre-school.  I don't know why.  I had a million things to worry about and a hundred things bothering me, but there was just something about the huge clouds over the mountains in the beautiful blue sky and the song on the radio (that I'd never heard before) that made me stop and really feel it.

Later I was doing some adoption education seminars on the computer.  The topic dealt with trans-racial adoptions. . . racism, bigotry. . . etc. etc.  It was deep and sometimes hard to get through.  It was very good information, and made me see that I have so much more to learn.  Man, that makes me tired to type.  I have loved the stuff that I've gained from these seminars, but sometimes it has felt like a tangible weight on my shoulders.  It's not a complaint, just an observation that the moment you realize the depth of your responsibility the more physical it feels.

This last seminar made me think of how others have reacted to our plan of going to Ethiopia to adopt.  Reactions have varied.  It made me want to explain how we got to where we are now. . .  It probably felt like a shotgun decision to many.  We pretty much just spurted it out telling people.  Not our best form of communication, I admit.  I apologize for that.  Dave and I aren't big sharers of personal business.  ;)  Let me try and make a little more sense. . .

We made the decision to go back on the LDSFSA list over a year ago.  It wasn't particularly a decision I was excited about.  I just felt like we should adopt again, and that was how we did it last time.  I wasn't ready to adopt again at that point either, but I knew waiting would be involved so we'd just put our faith about the timing in other hands.  I did all the setup work and then the rest of the year I easily could forget that we were approved to adopt until I'd get an email from a birthmom with questions.  Every one was very nice and I enjoyed talking to them, but nothing clicked.  I think I wasn't ready.  In fact I was perfectly happy with Miley and Miley alone.

We had to attend education classes during this time.  Dave went to one that was a presentation by the international adoption agency in our area and another domestic agency as well.  He came home regaling me with the information they shared.  He was sold.  I was not.  I wasn't there I didn't get the glowing feeling of their sales pitch, though I don't believe they were presenting like that, it's just my nature to distrust pitches of any kind.  He had handfuls of information and emails full followed.  I read it all.

When we started the adoption process the first time, I was downright fearful of getting a black baby.  I felt like my love would not make up for the struggles the child would have being a part of a trans-racial family.  I hurt to think I could cause a child harm just because of my color, my naiveté, or where we lived.  It was a lot of fear to overcome. . . at that time we submitted our paperwork and I marked a bold check in the box that said I would accept any race or gender.  It was only a step.  A small step.

FSA's slogan is 'it's about love', yeah well in international adoption they say that 'love isn't enough'.  Kinda makes me think of 'they say all you need is love, but I think air is more important.'  ;)  There seems to be a gap between the two slogans, but still, they are both right.  I know it.  Love alone couldn't dismiss my fears.  With adoption a lot of love is involved. . . you are faced with a child that is not genetically a piece of you, but with a history, a past, a background that you learn and you love because it is a part of your child.  Not learning of it or recognizing it is a disservice to the child and also to yourself.  Knowledge takes the place of fear.

This decision was not approached lightly.  We are not desperate for more children and found this to be an easy or quick method of procuring them.  I'm not doing this for a cute black baby.  It's not a novelty for us.  We are not doing some noble and generous thing. . . . We're doing this to bring a child home that belongs in our family.  A member that we feel is missing.  We feel like we are being guided to her.  I'm not good at sharing spiritual things either, cause they come out sounding strange, so once again I apologize for the broad strokes here.  We have found ourselves on a path that we never intended, we didn't ever foresee, but right now makes all the sense in the world to us.

I know that no matter what I do or say people will question our motives, and we'll always get comments that are inappropriate, either from ignorance or attitude.  People may still not agree with our family.  I know it will be hard and definitely different to raise a child of another race.  I understand the fear.  I've had it and will always worry no matter how much I learn.  That's why you call me whiskers.  ;)

I need to put it out there though, that we are sure of our choice.  We are educated and will continue to be educate ourselves on these issues.  I feel that responsibility to continue to learn and I can't deny it.

Miley was on my lap watching one of the adoption videos with me today.  While listening she turned to me and asked 'mom, what is 'grateful'?'  It made me smile.  I was happy to explain to her (after a definition of the term of course) that no matter what, I am grateful for adoption.

I'm glad for those moments like in the car. . . it was a good reminder to keep going, life is good.